Listening to a whole lot of classical compositions...which led into getting a ton of opera and symphony stuff... I'm in a weird mood. I'm under the ice floating beneath, in a word of pale and dark greens that play with the light and the ripples of the water...looking up at the world passing by, changing with the passing of the sun and moon, the colors of the seasons coming and going.. And I'm here lying at the bottom unbenounced to everyone. Alone. With nothing but the beautiful saddness of the music flowing gently through my body like a soft warm breeze. I had once heard that drowning was very peaceful...and this is what it must be like...that final peace in lonliness when you give up your last breath for the cool water, and let your life slip slowly through your fingertips. Yet at the bottom of this ocean, I'm not dying...just letting the world pass me by as if it were in fast forward and myself in reverse. Slowly I surface, silently reaching for the edge of the shore, and walking back into the snow and the cold, down that lonesome trail again. I choose this path over the other, for it will always be winter inside my heart, and I travel away from the sun to avoid the spring. I breathe deep, looking back once again to the calm warm waters from which I just came from, and then ahead of me, down that path on which I will never reach the end, the wind chills my face, touching my cheeks as tender and softly as the sweetest lover, embracing my whole, and bending me to her will. I fight the shivering and I pull my cloak back up around my shoulders, and my hood over my head...and onward down this path I go once again. And inside I'm happy again once more. I had taken two steps down that other path, into the warm sunny days to come, and in her smile and her outstretched hand, I knew this is not the path I am to take, so I walked back again, trudging heavily through the snow, the sound of the organs pounding in my head, humming along with the music only I can hear, for there is no one else around. Solitude. Thats when I came across the gargantuan cliffs of a colorless world, out across the placid green sea. The waves tumbled against the rocks below in an endless battle, each last drop of water hurling itself against the ageless stones, desperately trying to move it at last, slowly, until the sea takes back the land which is rightfully hers.  Turmoil, the waves say to me, come and find your serenity at the bottom. Music, beautiful, sad, bringing me to my knees. To the sea, who's surface glitters with a million emeralds, reaching upwards to me against the rocks which have no color, begging me to come down, let them catch me, carry me away. It was then that I fell forward, aiming for the abyss which would embrace all the darkness inside me, only to have drifted under the icy shores..into a peaceful place amidst the music and the ice above. I could drown in this forever, I thought to myself, but it is time to go back to where I am to be going...on this bitter cold path of life

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